Who knew Jesus was Australian?

...or that he would come before May 21?

Apparently Alan John Miller believes he is Jesus (which he realized after some aggressive spiritual discovery) and that his girlfriend is Mary Magdalene. Miller says,

Just a little over 2000 years ago, we arrived on the earth for the first time. My name then was Yeshua ben Yosef, or the Jesus of the Bible, the son of Joseph and Mary. Mary's name then was Mary of Magdala, the woman identified in the Bible as Mary Magdalene. Mary was my wife then, and the first person I appeared to after I was crucified.

Because of my personal desire and passion for God, as I grew, I recognized not only that I was the Messiah that was foretold by ancient prophets, but also that I was in a process designed by God that all humans could follow, if they so desired.

I called this process becoming "Born Again". It is the process of the human soul being transformed into the Divine, the process of becoming At-One with God. Many persons who were connected with me in the 1st century came to know and follow this path while on earth, the most notable person being Mary Magdalene, who is my soulmate, and who was actually married to me in the 1st century, and was pregnant with our daughter when I died.

Did you get all that? He was Jesus, son of Mary, who was actually Mary Magdalene, who was his pregnant wife at the time of his crucifixion. Wait... what??! Mary was his mother, and his wife? That's just weird, dude.

You can read more of this malarky at his website DivineTruth.com. There is some delightfully bizarre insanity to be found.

This is one I'll be watching, just to see how long his Jesus fantasy lasts and what becomes of his followers when they wake up. I'll never understand how willing people are to believe batshit crazy religious nutjobs, but at least it's entertaining.