Friday, May 6, 2011

The Latest from the Regretful Moms

Childfreeeee at the Childfreedom blog just made an eye-opening post, a small collection of stories from women who regret being a mother. I wish the world were a bit more honest; the fact is that many people regret having children, but live silently in hell for fear of judgment. It's time to shed some light on the subject and help people make educated decisions, instead of not being allowed to admit it's not all sunshine and rainbows.

Here are a few gems (minorly edited for brevity):
I was concerned about missing out too, but now that I have kids, I am the one who is totally missing out on life!!

I am missing out on little things like: sleep, regular showers, eating a meal in peace while actually sitting down, NOT tripping over toys, wearing a clean shirt for a whole hour with no drool or food on it….

I am missing out on big things like: my freedom, my independence, quality and quantity time with my husband, tons of money, my career (you are right, the woman’s life is changed so much more), my body, my social life…

I used to have hobbies, interests, workout several time per week and be full of energy, volunteer, read and be aware of current events, travel and experience new places/cultures, be good at my job…now ALL of those are GONE…ALL GONE!

The toll on a woman’s body is huge! I have been dealing with pain, incontinence and sexual problems for over 2 years! I had so much damage from the birth process (just a large baby who forcefully ripped my flesh and pelvis apart)...I just want to be pain-free, be able to hold my pee, enjoy sex with my husband again.

I have three young boys and life is just one wheel of exhaustion and routine. The endless round of domestic chores – feeding, washing and clearing up just never ever ends. I literally feel like I spend my whole life doing it. ...There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do it when the house is quiet but oh the irony as more often than not some one wakes at 11pm crying so I never get it done...being a mother is a 24hrs a day, 7 days a week job…’s like being on call all of the time. I miss my old life so much. I look in the mirror and see how much I have aged, I am tired and exhausted all the time and am eating badly just to get me through each day…..I’ve had some really terrible thoughts like walking out of the door and never coming back but I think the guilt would kill me, so the next best option would be to end my own life…..but I’m such a coward I would never really do it…..I just ‘dream’ of being able to sleep and not wake up to a messy house and people fighting. I read about a lawyer a few months ago, who had just returned to work after her third daughter and she threw herself over into the Thames river in London. All I could think was how sad for her family but I did understand ‘why’ she did it. She must have felt so over whelmed with it all….a job, three young kids, a husband, a house to run…..I understand her.

If you listen closely, you can hear my uterus committing suicide.


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