Thursday, October 28, 2010

God loves babies

Frequently I ponder the reasons why religious people typically have so many children. Coming from an uber-traditional Catholic brainwashing, I am often so relieved to be set free from the requirement of childbearing that I just can't understand how people would choose to be so controlled--not only for making babies, but for every aspect of control that religion must have. But about religion and breeding. Fundamentalists:

1. Believe all forms of birth control to be immoral
2. Believe procreation is a duty commanded by God
3. Believe they must create souls for the furthering of God's army
4. Don't give a shit (or a very little shit) about the environment

As a feminist, it saddens me greatly to think of the women's lives that have been hurt because of being spiritually coerced into a lifestyle they did not personally choose. I was almost one of those. In general it pains me to think of people who are forced into a life that is not suitable for their personality, but have no choice because "God wills it" and so they never really question it. And in the case of having many children, who would have time to question anything? You barely have time to take a shower! This lack of time is an issue that I think plays a role in many religious people's ability to think objectively about their blind faith, but maybe that's just me being an arrogant secularist.

Can atheists and secularists win in the arena of ideas? I want to say yes, because I am a positive person and I generally believe in the general goodwill of people. Atheism and secularism have more popularity and acceptance than ever before, but as atheists and secularists we are still woefully outnumbered. Atheists have no moral opposition to birth control. We're not stupid enough to believe that an invisible God expects us to breed for him because he's just so damn cuddly he wants more of us to love. We sincerely care about the environment. And if you're childfree like me, you love your life just as it is sans offspring.

Hmm. Maybe we should start breeding like crazy and take over the world!!!

So obviously we might have a problem. Atheists tend to procreate a lot less; does this mean our ideals will not be passed on to future generations? The answer is impossible to tell, but I think there is hope. As our knowledge of the world and culture and the variety of religions and lifestyles increases, as small-minded human beings we have no choice but to accept that there are Other Ways of Living Than Our Own. With acceptance can come understanding; with understanding can come conversion, and I think a good bit of that has happened. The exposure from TV, internet and radio all over the world has--for good or bad--been an eye-opening experience. Humans are naturally curious and what better to spark curiosity than cultural diversity? I think it's ample reason for people to examine their own way of life and to consider others' way. Maybe my religion isn't so right... maybe theirs isn't so wrong... or wait, maybe religion itself is the problem?

Back when the world was a lot more mysterious and small, religion served a purpose as an explanation for very many things. But that was when the Earth was flat, men or horses were gods, and abiogenesis was an accepted theory. As our knowledge increases, our reliance on the mythical decreases. There's a saying among Christians that "a baby is God's way of saying the world should go on." I happen to think it's more like "a baby is biology's way of saying you successfully put your penis in a vagina and ejaculated."

There's a short but good article on this topic at More Intelligent Life called Faith Equals Fertility. Some of the comments are enough to raise my blood pressure, like Tito Edwards:
People of faith are more open to having children because they love God. God is life, so what better way to celebrate life than to have children. Hence the Culture of Life. Secularists, atheists, non-theists, tend to not believe in something more than themselves, so they think ONLY of themselves. High rates of narcissism are rampant amongst non-believers so hence you have higher rates of abortions. Abortions are more prevalent since non-believers are pretty selfish and since they don't believe life beyond their material existense they want evertying now. Sex without responsbility is probably the number one narcisistic value amongst non-believers. Why have children sucking away your money, when that money can be better spent on vacations, a second home, third car, misstress, etc. It's rather quite simple. But as St. Thomas Aquinas said, "those with faith, no explanation is necessary. Those without faith, no explanation is possible."

In Jesus, Mary, & Joseph,


Oh, Tito. How I used to be brainwashed just like you. You're a typical Catholic idiot, but you've made some interesting points.
People of faith are more open to having children because they love God. God is life, so what better way to celebrate life than to have children. Hence the Culture of Life.
Pardon me while I facepalm for a moment. Ok, now that that's out of the way--do you have proof of God? Didn't think so. You have only a man-made religion full of rules and regulations that say you must behave in a certain way or the all-loving God will send you to hell for not obeying him. Gosh, he sounds so sweet! But that kind of belief is an excellent way of keeping the peons under control, isn't it? What you meant to say is that your religion dictates that you must have children, that birth control is evil, but they sugarcoat this rule by making you feel superior to others because you are "open to life." Did it ever occur to you that banning birth control will effectively increase the Catholic Church's membership on purpose, thereby increasing its profits and control over people's lives? Kind of like how our government and Hollywood glamorizes joining the military.
Secularists, atheists, non-theists, tend to not believe in something more than themselves, so they think ONLY of themselves. High rates of narcissism are rampant amongst non-believers so hence you have higher rates of abortions. Abortions are more prevalent since non-believers are pretty selfish and since they don't believe life beyond their material existense they want evertying now. Sex without responsbility is probably the number one narcisistic value amongst non-believers.
Sorry, I must have forgotten the part where we met. You seem to think you know everything about me. For the record, retard, abortion is not always done for selfish reasons. And what's so wrong about sex without responsibility? Why is procreation a requirement? You would have sex "without responsibility" too if you could. But your religion has convinced you that you can't, so you tell yourself that you're better for being so responsible. Pompous much?
Why have children sucking away your money, when that money can be better spent on vacations, a second home, third car, misstress, etc.
That's the most sense you've made! Though not a complete list, those are definitely some attractive reasons for not having kids. Except the mistresses part; I've no need for those.
But as St. Thomas Aquinas said, "those with faith, no explanation is necessary. Those without faith, no explanation is possible."
Right on, right on, brother! You Christians love your blind faith. No explanation is necessary to those with faith because they are so certain they have all the answers; "God" gave them to the answers--or maybe it's just a bunch of people with a magical story.

I need to go relax now and get my blood pressure back down. Maybe I should do some offensive New Age Yoga.


Women, why?

Why are women so utterly stupid when it comes to relationships? Haven't we progressed far enough in this country for women to realize they don't have to take shit from their men anymore?

Excuse the rant, but I'm so tired of it. So many otherwise intelligent women still see themselves through the "little woman" mentality. He cheated on me? Oh that's ok, we can work through it. He beat me? Oh that's ok, we can work through it.

My dear fellow women, why do you stay? Where is your backbone? I understand how an abusive relationship can mess up your head and your emotions and your self-esteem, but--and I'm going to be harsh--you need to get over it. Get out. Now. So you got a bad rap, but quit being a fucking victim and do something for yourself. The only women I feel sorry for in abusive relationships are the ones who physically cannot leave, as in, he has you hog-tied in a closet 24/7. Otherwise, if you're staying, you're only giving him permission to keep on keepin' on. And that is 100% on you.

I have seen too many of my friends go through this, and it angers the hell out of me. I feel bad for them, and I offer them all the support I can, even to the point of letting them live with me and paying their bills till they get on their feet, but they are always full of a million excuses of why they "can't" leave. None of these reasons is unchangeable. They are all just excuses. I'm not saying it won't take time to get out, especially if you don't have money, but where there is a will there is a way. The problem that I see is there is a lack of will, a lack of spine, and a lot of laziness. They would rather deal with the crappy situation that go through the upheaval of starting a new life--but oh boy, will they be happy to whine and cry on your shoulder about how miserable they are.

Women, it is time you grow a pair of balls and take responsibility for your own life. You will find a beautiful, exciting world out there that is full of support for you as long as you are willing to work for your freedom. I don't care if you have kids with the monster, or if you have no money. One step at a time, something can be done. Do not sit on your hands and wallow in your misery for any longer. Be a good example for your friends, sisters, and especially daughters.

There is just no excuse in this country for any woman to throw a pity party about her "permanent" loss of independence. Put on your big girl panties and go get it back.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Thanks, Wallyworld

Whenever I get the urge to have kids, I'm going to make myself take a trip to Wal-Mart.

I hate Wal-Mart for a myriad of reasons, but I've some newfound appreciation for the hellhole now. Wal-Mart (and the like) is an overwhelming dose of daily reality, served in migrainous gobs of fluorescent light. My last trip there several days ago I saw a toddler making a game of repeatedly tossing his shoe onto the floor after every time the mother put it back on--it put a smug smile of satisfaction on my face. There are definitely worse behaviors, but the shoe-throwing is one of only thousands that parents must endure every day.

I have no hatred for children (quite the opposite) and I have utter respect for parents (the good ones). I don't know how they do it. I couldn't do it, no way.

The two times I ever consider reproducing are when I'm experiencing Evil Reproduction Hormones and when a Hollywood movie makes it seem fun and easy. Thankfully the hormones are infrequent and my mind has always overcome them, but during intense attacks it's enough to make me feel batty. Bipolar. Irrational. I can completely understand how women who experience the biological urge, and who have not thought seriously about the consequences of children, succumb to the hormones and become obsessed with being pregnant. What I've found happens to me during these days is that my emotional focus is on the cutesy fun things--a cute pregnant belly, buying all the fluffy blankets and baby clothes, precious snapshots stuck on the fridge, exciting Christmases, showing a child the wonders of the world. Never once does my hormonally charged body think about all the ugly things--sleep deprivation, post-baby body, no free time, spitup and poop, hospital bills, teenage rebellion, no money, college tuition, crappy sex life and being a perpetual babysitter.

But Hollywood makes it look so great! Happy couples with nice homes and plenty of free time tote around an adorable kid who is always well-behaved and respectable, smart too. Somehow the house is never dirty or noisy, and Mom is easily able to juggle home life and work, and look like a supermodel doing it. But then I take a look around me at the reality of everyday life. It's decidedly unglamorous. And exhausting.

Even though I am happily childfree and secure in my decision to remain so, it is still a constant battle within myself and with society because of the bombardment of social pressure. The notion that we CF need to explain and defend ourselves is ridiculous; but the fact is, we frequently must do so. I look for the day where deciding not to have kids will be just as controversial deciding not to travel to Hawai'i, but go to Florida instead. The internet is a fabulous tool for exposing the CF life and offering support for its followers; we who are CF need to offer positive exposure to the lifestyle by rationally discussing it with others, and by proudly showing off our happy selves. There are many paths to happiness, and I for one am tired of the arguing about it.


I'm on the Atheist Blogroll!

Yippee! Just got added to the Atheist Blogroll, a wonderful collection of skeptical blogs. This is even cooler than making the honor roll.

You can see the atheist blogroll badge in my sidebar; click on it to check out the blogroll itself. If you are an atheist blogger who would like to join, visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts.


Monday, October 25, 2010

Redefining Beauty

Highschool Girls Go Au Natural

I don't even know these girls and I am so proud of them. As a makeup-addict myself, I especially admire their bravery. Some may mock this as being a notion of bravery, but when taken into consideration the colossal pressure our youth is under, and the constant bombardment of advertising and photoshopped Hollywood, this certainly is brave. It takes a lot of guts for young girls to go against popular culture. To look at yourself in the mirror and accept yourself for who you are and how you look is a wonderful thing.


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A girl vs. the Mexican drug cartel

20-year-old Marisol Valles GarcĂ­a, a female college student, is now police chief of Juarez, Mexico. You can read the article here.

That is one brave soul! You go, girl. Best of luck to her. I sincerely hope she lasts. She is a shining example not only for all people, but especially for young women. For a 20-year-old young woman to take on such a dangerous job is mind-boggling. She's pretty cute, too. Sounds like she's got more balls than the men around there (not that I blame them--I'd be hiding in my house, too).

She said, "The weapons we have are principles and values, which are the best weapons for prevention." Why can't we all act like her?


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

They're taking over!

I have to wonder what dance rehearsals were like. Was she ever late? Did she ever break a sweat? Honestly, I think she's lip syncing. The fraud.

You see, it starts off with innocent singing and dancing. But then, they become our masters.

Maybe it's time you consider robot insurance.

Because all robots want is sex.


Monday, October 18, 2010

More Christian ignorance

This morning I came across an article from on the "The Sad Testimony of George Carlin" written by a David J. Stewart. He does a review of Carlin in the following video "Religion is Bullshit":

I did some MAJOR facepalming. Stewart exemplifies perfectly the irrationality of the Christian mind. He says, "Sadly, Mr. Carlin is almost assuredly burning in Hell this moment, having died in his sins," and justifies that with John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” This kind of judgmental arrogance is a big part of the problem with religion. I am pulling my hair out over this. It doesn't even deserve this much commentary. But it gets better.

After watching George Carlin's blasphemous video, I couldn't help but think about the ridiculous theories of Evolution, and how unsaved people blindly, without question, accept the lame and unscientific theories of Evolution by faith.

Oh geez. Ridiculous theories of evolution? There's scientific proof of evolution, you dimwit! People who accept evolution do not do so blindly and without question. They do so after examining scientific evidence, which, by the way, is extremely thorough. Scientific theories must be tested, explained, and re-tested; they must hold absolutely true to reality and fact or else they are thrown out. What sort of tests do religions endure? None. It's a bunch of made-up, unproved, crazy malarky that is accepted blindly and without question. Is there a "God test"? Oh, that's right, we can't test God. Nor touch him, feel him or have a conversation (one-sided prayer does not count). And he's invisible. Aaaaaaand he "works in mysterious ways" that explain his inexplainable behavior. How utterly convenient! A God that can't be seen, touched or questioned because he isn't around to be found. You'd think if he were so all-powerful he could put an end to suffering and hate, cure disease and poverty, and maybe...I dunno... make his existence a little more readily ascertainable for us peons (Nextel has cheap cell phone plans, Jesus). And people believe in him because they have personally felt his love and good works in their own lives. You know, some people feel their imaginary friend's presence too, but at least that is properly diagnosed as a mental illness.

Stewart says that "any honest person KNOWS that God exists." If you ask me, any honest person with a whisp of a brain KNOWS he doesn't, or at least questions him. I miss the days of believing in God. Things were easier. I always had a friend who was there for me and loved me even when it seemed like the rest of the world didn't care. I came to my agnosticism and atheism very gradually and reluctantly. Religion was pretty easy to spot as a complete crock once you unblinded yourself, but letting go of a loving God was not something I wanted to do. I begged him, in my heart of hearts, to show himself, to be there with me. I prayed to have my faith strengthened and renewed but the opposite happened the more I questioned what life was about. I was taught that selfish prayers (please get me a shiny new sportscar!) were never answered because they were wants and not needs, but altruistic desires (please make me a more patient and kind person) were always answered. I didn't ever intend to become atheist, and it was a process that took nearly a decade. It would be a very cruel God who would deny the honest heart access to him when sincerely requested.

If the Bible is true, and I believe It is 100%, then George Carlin died and went to Hell according to 2nd Thessalonians 1:8-9, because he refused to obey the Gospel. I didn't say that, God did.

You didn't say that.... God did. Uh huh. Was that through the talking snake or the talking bush or ....? Oh, I know! God said it through the inconsistent babble of a group of men! Right. Then it must be true.

I know what you're afraid of, Mr. Stewart. You were born with a brain and are intelligent enough to be able to question the universe. But if you even stop to openly question life and humanity you will find your personal world full of doubt; to even question things is a sin. God knows every thought you have so to use your intellect and question articles of faith that don't make sense would be an offense to him. If you were to even attempt it you would have to put away your religious glasses for just a minute, and temporarily forget what you have been taught as "fact". Think. Investigate. Ask. I know you are afraid of hell. But I promise you, it doesn't exist.

"Faith" takes away your obligation to investigate the truth. Faith explains it all. Faith has all the answers. Faith does the work for you. But faith does not reconcile with the facts you can see around you. Faith is the blind acceptance of a man-made theory.


Parenting Magazine: An effective (mental) contraceptive

Despite my feelings towards childfreedom (and my daily rejoicing in my childlessness), as a twenty-something woman my biology gets in the way occasionally. Googly-eyed babies are temptingly cute. I do love kids, I do. I have nothing against children, I just don't think I need my own. It was in a moment of weakness and morbid curiosity that I grabbed a copy of Parenting in the waiting room at my doctor's office today.

Thank God--er, thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster--for this magazine. It is the best birth control.

People ought to think about baby-making before they do it. Many weren't planning to get pregnant but do anyway. An enormous group of women become hormonally deranged and won't stop until they get pregnant, not realizing that they may or may not be ready or even right for the job. A friend of mine, otherwise an intelligent young woman, secretly went off of her birth control because she wanted a baby so bad she couldn't see straight. Still more women get pregnant because their religion says they must, but that's another story. A depressing amount of women never give motherhood a second thought. They just do it. The excitement of pink and blue baby blankets and rubber duckies at bath time is just too irresistible and no consideration is given to the serious commitment, work and responsibility.

But I digress. After reading an article on sex after children, I felt oh-so-validated. Unfortunately I can't find the exact article online, but you can read a very similar article here. Main problems:

1. Too tired
2. Post-baby body
3. No sex drive
4. No privacy
5. No spontaneity/scheduled sex
6. Feeling used/underappreciated

Uuuuuugh!! I know people find ways around these problems, and kudos for them. But let's me honest--it's not as good as it once was. It's pretty much non-existent. And unless you're Angelina Jolie, the post-baby body will be decidedly unsexy. I love my sex life. I do not want to tamper with it at all. Then there's the money problem. Reproducing is insanely expensive, from the birth to college and everything inbetween.

Life is great just as it is, thank you very much!! :D


Thursday, October 7, 2010

The United States Post Office

Today I had again the misfortune of going to the post office. After standing in line for 10 minutes as usual I overheard the conversation between the clerk and a gentleman ahead of me. He just needed one stamp--poor thing--and asked why there was no longer a vending machine for stamps outside the main lobby. Good question, dude.

"To save jobs," she answered.

To save jobs. Think about this for a minute. I don't know about you, but it seems to be that a vending machine for the sole purpose of stamps is a good idea. It doesn't mind standing on its feet all day, it will work as many hours and holidays as needed, it's quick, and it doesn't need vacation days or employment benefits. True, it has to be restocked and maintained--but that would create a job itself, wouldn't it? I don't have the data to compare the costs of vending machines for stamps vs. a human employee, butlikeomgforsure, I'm enraged at the audacity and inefficiency of our "benign" government. Again. I know, I should be used to it by now.

Let's forget, for a moment, the unconstitutionality of the post office and the tax dollars squeezed out of us by force to operate it; let's also forget of the monopoly it has arbitrarily declared on sending and receiving letters. Hey, what happened to Anti-Trust laws in this country? Oh, nevermind.

The USPS in its infinite wisdom decided it was unfair to replace workers just to make things cheaper and more efficient. She did say, after all, that the machines were removed not because they were too expensive, but because they were taking jobs from the humans. So the USPS generously employs people to keep from hurting their feelings with money from our wallets.

It's oh-so-easy to be generous with others' money, isn't it? And in our case, we're a never ending treasure chest. The USPS, just like the Federal government, operates on a perpetual deficit with absolutely no penalty, while a private sector company (or the average citizen) is held to a different standard. For us there are threatening letters, assets frozen, money taken, even imprisonment. My friends, just you try to evade your taxes or even innocently be late in paying them. The IRS will have your butt on a platter, reaching its grubby tendrils into your job, your bank accounts and anything you own. But We the People are expected to cough it up, bend over and offer our asses for another spanking.

Why does the government do this to us? Because they can. Because they have the guns. Because we have rolled over and given them everything. Shame on us.

The problem with allowing the government to run our schools, our post office, our roads and the like is that it removes the vital need for ingenuity, passion, drive, invention, success, and efficiency. There is no longer a reward for bad behavior. Spend too much? That's ok, here's another pile of money we've taken from the citizenry. This is why private competition is so damn important. In private competition, money is not collected UNLESS QUALITY SERVICES AND PRODUCTS ARE PROVIDED TO THE CONSUMER, AT WHICH POINT THE CONSUMER VOLUNTARILY PAYS THE VENDOR FOR THE SERVICE. Money is not taken through unconstitutional taxation, with the threat of fine or imprisonment. The service provider has a serious incentive to provide quality, economical service--or else he will lose a customer, and consequently, his business will fail. He is not allowed--moreover, he is not able--to operate on a perpetual deficit.


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My journey to peace in Childfreedom

Today may finally be the day when I feel totally at peace with my decision to remain child-free. I reserve the right to change my mind, of course. ;) But I really don't think I will.

Heretofore my reasons for wanting to have children have been inadequate and erroneous. At first it was thoughtless--isn't that what people do?, my adolescent mind thought. Then as a late teen I came to believe (as I had been brainwashed) that children were a requirement, the sole purpose of marriage and that any form of contraception is mortally sinful. This idea was slightly crushing as I'm a natural romantic and oodles of noisy child withy snotty faces and poopy diapers pretty much killed the mood. Still, I've always had fun with kids and I resolved to soldier on and make everything work somehow. When I married at age 19 (big mistake) I temporarily resolved the problem by avoiding sex as much as possible, then eventually resorting to Natural Family Planning--a natural method of pregnancy avoidance sanctioned by the Catholic church only if used under grave circumstances. My circumstances were certainly not grave, but I justified it by promising God I would have kids, just not yet.

Fast forward two years: I was horrified to find out I had become pregnant. Even though NFP is allowable to a Catholic the fact that I did not have any "grave" circumstances would have meant that for me to have attended formal NFP classes would have caused a rather juicy scandal in our traditional families, so I never did. I self-educated and read as much as I could. NFP is very effective but of course there is still a chance of pregnancy; whether or not I incorrectly practiced it or I fell under the umbrella of the unlucky few destined to get pregnant, I'll never know. Looking back, I don't know why I just didn't get on the damn Pill. Sure, the phrase "the Pill" had been whispered like a dirty word in my family, and I had been told repeatedly that birth control forced spouses to view each other as sexual objects...even so, I myself never felt opposed to it but I refrained from it because I believed I had to.

Those early days of pregnancy were hell for me. I was severely depressed, and it wasn't because of hormones. It was because I was not ready. I felt like my life was over before it had begun. How was I supposed to finish college now? My grandmother-in-law asked me once, "Well honey, are you excited?" And I had to be honest--"No." I had married not only too young before I even knew who in the hell I was, but I couldn't have chosen husband more wrong for me. Not a bad person, but we were oil and water in practically every way. So with the pregnancy, now I was stuck with him, forever. As wrong as I felt it was, I suddenly understood why women considered abortion, though in my inexperience I had always judged them as selfish, evil pricks.

Eventually I came to accept my pregnancy and tried to find ways to look forward to it, and had made up my mind that after the baby was born, no matter what there would not be another child for many years. I had lost some of my freedom but I would never willingly lose any more of it. As I got farther along, I enjoyed the maternity clothes and the attention from strangers (I was darn cute), but I still hated being pregnant. I wanted my body back. The fact that there was a living being inside of me completely freaked me out! Some women cherish that, but I felt severely uneasy about it, like an alien had deposited its slimy green young in me and there was no way of getting it out. The farther along I got, the happier I became because I knew it would be over soon. The end came sooner than I expected, though. At 27 weeks I found out that my son had passed away, and 36 hours later I gave birth to my stillborn baby boy.

It was very sad, and it was very hard. The mystery of his death will forever bother me and I wouldn't wish that journey on anyone. It was and is very painful, and I can't imagine the pain experienced by women in that situation who were happy to be pregnant. In the anonymity of the internet, I can confess that despite my grief I felt an immense, peaceful relief. I could start over. I had a second chance. On my first checkup my doctor said to me, "In about six more weeks you will be healthy enough that you can start trying again for another one." All I could think of was, "Why in the heck would I want to?!" But I suppose in her experience many women nowadays are pregnant because they wanted to be, and since I was a stable, married, healthy young woman, I must have wanted a baby.

A year later my husband and I went our separate ways, and it was the first right decision I made in my adult life. For the first time, I was reaching beyond my little closeted religious prison and asking the big questions that were never even suggested to me during my upbringing. Who am I? What do I love? What do I hate? What do I want? What are my passions? Where is my originality and individuality? These questions will sound selfish to the religious mind. We are told over and over that our purpose in life is to know, love and serve God (thanks, Baltimore Catechism). See, kid? Your future is all figured out, your role planned. My own mother, an independent woman with a Masters degree, founder of a quality, private high school once mused on the pointlessness of educating girls, since they were destined to be (1) nuns or (2) stay-at-home mothers. Don't even get me started...

You see, my road to childfreedom is deeply intertwined with my road to agnosticism and atheism. But I will try not to go into the rest of the story for now. Just know that after finally asking the bigger questions, I've come to understand who I am a little bit more. I love kids, and I feel very strongly about volunteering with and promoting adoption for abused children, but I personally am not mother material. I love my life as it is, and I know my limitations. I like peace and quiet. I like to be able to sleep in. I like a clean house. I like to save my money. I like my freedom to build my businesses. I like to have date night every night and not have to scramble to find a babysitter. I like being able to travel, or even just make a random trip to the grocery store. I really like not having to carry a diaper bag. I like being able to have sex wherever, whenever and as loud as I want in my own house. I like not having to potty train. I like my babyless body. I like not having to pay college tuition.

I could go on and on. Call me selfish if you like, but I will stand proudly and tell you that at least I am thinking through my decision and not randomly procreating because I can't think of anything better to do, or because I am a religious nut who won't use contraception. I'm an informed, intelligent adult. There are things that I know I will miss out on, like Kodak moments or hopefully giving my child a better upbringing than I had. But when I really get to the heart of the issue, those things don't matter to me so much. On a practical level, I will be a million percent more prepared for retirement with the money I save, enough to buy myself a cushy nursing home stay or in-home care. Having kids as insurance is a shitty thing to do, and grossly unfair to your offspring. On an emotional level, when I look around me I have dozens of deep, fulfilling relationships, from a wonderful man whom I love deeply, to friends and relatives, to the children of my friends who call me Aunt. As I get older these relationships will only deepen and grow, and new and wonderful ones will be formed along the way. Those Thanksgiving dinners in the future may not include my offspring, but there will be amazing people who are just as much in my heart.

So do I need a googly-eyed young'un to come out of my vajayjay for my life to be meaningful and fulfilling? No, not I. Freedom, adventure, charity and creativity are what I need in my life.

-- BadSec