Relationships and Porn

Prepare yourself for a highly offensive post. This is definitely going to offend someone, somewhere, but keep in mind that this is just my opinion. This is a rant reacting to some conversations I've had and heard lately, and to let others who feel as I do that they're not alone.

I'm getting really tired of hearing how harmless porn is, and how it's just no big deal. I call shenanigans. On the one hand, I agree: consenting adults can do whatever the hell they want to do. I realize there are some benefits of it. My beef is when people in committed, reasonably healthy relationships use porn. You're either committed to each other, or you're not. Pick one. I have zero problems with porn, strip clubs, prostitutes and whathaveyou outseide of committed relationships; if I were single I'd be using those as my sexual outlets (except for the hookers--yuck).

I'm not even going to get into all the "porn objectifies men/women" crap. Maybe it does, but I really don't care as long as the porn stars are consenting adults. I will say that porn sets unrealistic expectations for sex, and that could cause a problem for some.

It's not that I'm a sexual prude; I absolutely am not. This is my one hang up, if you want to call it that. It's not about sexual morality, it's about commitment. I feel the same way when I hear about men and women flirting, texting and sexting people who aren't their partner. Either you are in a committed relationship or you're not. If you're fantasizing and masturbating to someone other than your proclaimed partner, how committed are you? Seriously.

Personally I believe porn is cheating. There, I said it. For the expectations that I have for my relationship, it is cheating. I know a lot of people don't care, and hats off to them. I don't have a problem with them living their lives as they want. What pisses me off is this attitude that "oh, everyone does it, you're just insecure if you don't like it." Bull-fucking-shit. I'm a strong, independent, love-myself-very-much gal. I just don't dig it if my partner is jerking off to someone else.

Obviously a lot of people don't agree with my definition of committed; that's cool. I have made it a point when my relationships got serious to state to my boyfriends that porn is a deal-breaker for me (assuming, of course, that we are both happy in our sex lives--if I'm not putting out then I really can't blame the guy for going elsewhere), and give them the choice to proceed or not.

I would rather be alone than have my partner not honor our agreement to be true to one another, and only one another.