Where does morality come from?

The answer to the above question is so utterly obvious to most people, yet there are some who insist that the Invisible Sky Daddy is the being who instituted ethics and morality, and without this morality we would immediately devolve into murdering one another for fun. The ones who believe that they could not hurt others without their faith in religion are the ones who really worry me.

In short, the answer to the above question is this: as humans, we generally don't dig it if someone murders us, rapes us, steals from us or burns our house to the ground. So as a society we have, over time, agreed to not do this to one another (because if I do it to you, you then can do it to me), and have decided to punish those who transgress anyway. We don't need God in order to understand this. We're not born understanding right and wrong--it comes as a result of being able to think and reason and understand that if I do this to that person, than he can turn around and do it to me, and I don't want that done to me, so I'd better not do that to him. This is the simplified idea of a society with law and order. Even animals do this.

But if you still believe that morality comes from God, then you must ask yourselves the next questions. Which God from which religion, and from which flavor of a particular religion? Is it Zeus you follow? Mithra? Jesus? Allah? Yahweh? If Christianity is your religion of choice, who is your leader?--Joseph Smith, Martin Luther, Benedict XVI? And if you've chosen Christianity, you need to justify why you've chosen one church over the other. If you've chosen Catholicism over Anglicanism, or Southern Baptist over Mormonism, it must be because you believe that your particular choice has it more right than any other. But why? Didn't you exercise your own intellect and come to that observation yourself? Either way, you still make some choices on morality based on your own reasoning.

Christopher Hitchens makes a rather simple and eloquent statement about the origin of morality, and I'm going to share it now.

"Answer me this if you think morality comes from the supernatural and we require celestial dictatorship permission for it. Name me a moral action committed by a believer, or a moral statement or an ethical statement uttered by one, that could not be made or uttered by a non-believer....If I was to ask anyone in this room, however, could they name a wicked action performed or a vile statement made by someone attributable only to their religious faith, there isn't a single person here who'd have to hesitate for a second in discovering what that was and saying it."

In addition to this idea, there could be volumes of books written on the many reasons why "God" is actually quite immoral, but that's a whole other post entirely (or several). What Hitchens successfully says is that if murder/theft/rape/etc is inherently wrong as prohibited by God, why can both a believer and non-believer agree on this? Why can obscure aboriginal tribes come to this conclusion without so much as hearing of Jesus or Allah or Yahweh? Because basic, fundamental morality is universal and a common desire to all human beings.

The Vatican Rag

A friend of mine sent this to me and it's just wonderful:



It's fucking brilliant:

Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!

I might be Tom Lehrer fan now.

Vintage Breeder Propaganda!

Riiiiiight. Cause it's always so wonderful like that! I'd love to hear the real story as told from the mother's perspective who has to cook, clean, brush the kids' hair and shuffle them to their activities. The best part is the comments:

"My cousin and her husband have 7 children! I wish to have 8!"

Destroy the earth! Never consider adoption! God wants you to have more babies!! Spawn, spawn, spawn!

"There are enormous graces and blessings bestowed upon the large Catholic family"

What blessings are these, exactly? I don't see much difference from the large Catholic family to the large Islamic family or the large Mormon family. God must have forgotten that he only blesses Catholics who squirt out a baby every 9 months.

Keep on swallowing the Kool-Aid, people.

Rapture and the Great Atheist Bonfire

Only 109 days left until the rapture--are you ready? If you're not part of God's elect, you'll not only not be sucked up into heaven on May 21, 2011, but left to burn to a crisp on October 21. Atheists, gather your marshmallows; it's going to be one hell of a bonfire for us this fall.

MSNBC has a little article on these final days, revolving around Army veteran Marie Exley. This devout believer has moved from her home in Colorado to work for California-based Family Radio Worldwide and says, "... we're commanded by God to warn people. I wish I could just be like everybody else, but it's so much better to know that when the end comes, you'll be safe."

...right. It's fascinating to me to see otherwise intelligent people believing this malarky so wholeheartedly. What will they think when May 21 comes and goes? Perhaps they'll think they weren't saved and Jesus secretly raptured his holy ones as we heathens report in the news that Nothing Important Happened Today.

Allison Warden, of Raleigh, has been helping organize a campaign using billboards, postcards and other media in cities across the U.S. through a website, We Can Know. The 29-year-old payroll clerk laughs when asked about reactions to the message, which is plastered all over her car. "It's definitely against the grain, I know that," she said. "We're hoping people won't take our word for it, or Harold Camping's word for it. We're hoping that people will search the scriptures for themselves." Camping, 89, believes the Bible essentially functions as a cosmic calendar explaining exactly when various prophecies will be fulfilled.

Sorry, Allison, but people who really read the Bible usually can recognize it for the immoral, inconsistent babble that it is.

"Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment," [Camping] said.

Mhmm, sure. *yawn*

"If May 21 passes and I'm still here, that means I wasn't saved. Does that mean God's word is inaccurate or untrue? Not at all," Warden said.

Or... it could mean that it was a bunch of hokus pokus in the first place. There's an idea! How does one go about not being saved anyway? Isn't it supposed to be rather simple, ask Jesus into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior? Seems hard to get wrong.

Advice Dog says...

"CLIMB THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN.
PUNCH THE FACE OF GOD."

Advice Dog must read my Blog.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

A recent post from the Childfreedom blog has compiled an eye-opening exposé on the realities of parenthood, Don't Worry, Be Happy.

I read every single one of them, and they are absolutely heartbreaking. They hate being a mother, hate their kids, hate their life, hate their loss of freedom because of children, and hate their ruined relationships. Most of them wanted children or were at least agreeable to it and have turned out massively unhappy. This isn't to say that it happens to every parent, but it's obvious that it is common, though a well-kept secret. There is no out for these people, and they are obligated to perpetuate their misery for many years, if not the rest of their lives. Here are a few that stand out to me:

"I love my son. I do. Unfortunately that doesnt stop me from wishing on a daily basis that I could go back and undo the last 2 years or so of my life. I hate being a mom. I loathe being a mom. I hate that i can't take a shower when I want. That i can't go out with my friends when I want. That going shopping is a mission that sucks the life right out of me. I hate that he screams about everything. I hate that he destroys everything I try to achieve. I had almost found an outlet of sorts for myself by going to the gym 5 days a week and leaving him in the kids club there. He managed to take that from me as well because he can't be civil around other children evidently. I have nothing now except for the endless days of screaming and crying while I watch my life waste away."

"I am so sick of everyone saying how precious this time is and how they grow up so fast. I feel that they can't grow up fast enough. I also have thought that other moms must be lying or fooling themselves when they say that parenthood is the best thing. I am uncomfortable talking with other parents because I am not good at lying or being fake and feel that it is obvious how much I hate being a mom. I also love my husband and long for the good old days when it was just the two of us, independent, free, and enjoying each other. Now we have such a practical/functional relationship...just getting this one fed, this diaper changed, this one to the doctor..... What were we thinking?"

"I spent my youth raising my 3 children. I have driven so many miles to soccer and basketball and football and cheerleading and plays and on and on. I volunteered at the school. I was a brownie troop leader. I read to my kids and made sure they got their shots and visits to the dentist. I took them to church and participated in their lives. They are all in their 40's. I live alone. I have not seen my kids in over 3 years. Two of them live on the opposite side of the country. My daughter has not visited me in over 10 years. If I call her I get voice mail and she may call back and she may not. My youngest got drunk and screamed at me (he's 41) and now does not speak to me. My oldest is the only one with children. He can take them to Germany and Spain and France and Chili and Disneyworld but he has not brought them to see me in 5 years. I have spent the last 15 Christmases, Thanksgivings and birthdays alone. The only time I have felt welcome at his home was when my first grandchild was born. My grandchildren are young teens and I have seen them 6 times. I am older and alone. I live on a fixed income and am not in good health and no one has my back. If I had not had children, I would have had a life and made provisions for being alone in my old age. Now, all I have to look forward to is death. And I will probably be dead days before anyone notices. Maybe if I don't show up for church two Sundays in a row someone might question."

"I don't know if having kids was the right thing to do. I love my kids and am proud of each of them. However, since I raised all 4 of them on my own...without family, friends, or any help from my ex-husband...I am the one that is LEFT ALL ALONE. I deliberately centered all of my work and activities around the kids...and wanted to be the best mom that i could be...in spite of our circumstances. I bought a house, went to work, cleaned the house and spent every night at home with my kids...cooking and doing homework with them. I rarely went out with friends, with the exception of outings with other mothers with their own brood.

Each child has grown into a well adjusted and accomplished person. However, what do I get in return? NOTHING! My daughters rarely call, my sons keep advising me to move to a warmer climate nearer my brothers...and hardly ever make time for even a 10 minute phone call to me."

"I too, wish I did not have a child. My infant daughter sucks the life out of me. Every day, I long to go back to the way my life was pre-baby. I traveled around the world, dined out in peace several times a week with my husband, and was all-around happy with my life. Now, my day consists of changing poopy diapers, washing bottles, feedings, getting throwed up on and screaming sessions. Then, this same routine just repeats, day after day. I don't travel anymore. When my husband and I go out to eat, it ends up being a nightmare and not worth the effort. I miss being able to hop in the car and see a movie with the hubby and staying out late enjoying ourselves. I am now a shell of the person I once was. I am not happy at all. I don't have any love for my daughter and I don't enjoy spending time with her AT ALL. And actually, I don't think she enjoys being with me the slightest, either. She completely annoys me, and I count down the moments until my husband gets home so I can pawn her off on him and get a break. I am lucky to have 20 minutes to myself to sit down and eat something, and relax. Some days I wish I could just adopt her out to someone who would love her, but I have too much pressure on me from family to keep her. My marriage is declining and the relationship with my husband has gotten much worse since the baby was born. I truly just despise the kid. She has ruined my happy life. If I would have known what my life would turn into after having her, I would have NEVER, EVER, EVER had children. Believe me, I will NOT have another one! I just wish I could turn back the hands of time and never had a child to begin with...."

I feel sorry for them, but at the same time there's no way they could not have had an inkling when deciding to have children that their fate would be a possibility. If you take a look around at the haggard parents, the empty wallets, the unfulfilling marriages followed by infidelity and divorce, you can imagine what raising children is like. The pro-natalists advertise only the rosy things, and gloss over the negatives with the all-encompassing phrase, "It's So Worth It."

Potential parents need to understand what their possible life could really be like, because there's no going back. But because of the skinny, beautiful moms on TV who make it look so easy, the wealthy Hollywood mothers who seem to have it all, the sentimental, billion dollar advertising industry depicting of sweet children and cooing babies, people like to stick their heads in the sand and pretend that it can't possibly happen to them.

And when it does, they're too ashamed to admit it. Thanks to the anonymity of the internet, it is starting to come out.

--BadSec

Cost of raising one child

Indulging in my February 2011 edition of Inc. magazine this weekend, I was interested to see the following blurb in the Inc. Data Bank | Crunching the Numbers section:

PERSONAL FINANCE

Average amount U.S. parents spend to raise a child to 18, excluding college tuition:

$286,000

Wowzers!! 286K is no small price tag--and that doesn't include college tuition, boarding costs, and other college expenses. The figure is from the Department of Agriculture, and it offers no other information (such as impact of inflation), but I'm sure it's a reasonable estimate.

How many people would desire parenthood if they knew this little tidbit? I fear many of them will take a "It can't be that bad! We'll take it as it comes" mentality--in fact, I personally know these types. The religious ones who believe that procreation is a divine commandment never once stop to think about the financial or ecological impact of a new human, which I find sickening.

To be fair, I'm sure the cost of a second child wouldn't be so high because that child could possibly be sharing clothes, toys, strollers, and reusable things like that. However, I think the $286K price tag should be displayed on every home pregnancy test, and expressed as a disclaimer on every emotional Johnson & Johnson ad.

Why is there no parental aptitude test? Why can any idiot off the street with a functioning reproductive system get a no-questions-asked pass to parenthood, when to elect to be CF is met with such venomous hostility? Why are the CF not taken seriously and told that they will change their minds, but the same condescending warning isn't given to every single potential parent?

The next time I hear someone say that children will be there to take care of you when you're old, I will remind them that the $286,000 I saved by not breeding will pay for a very comfortable retirement.

--BadSec