Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Rapture and the Great Atheist Bonfire

Only 109 days left until the rapture--are you ready? If you're not part of God's elect, you'll not only not be sucked up into heaven on May 21, 2011, but left to burn to a crisp on October 21. Atheists, gather your marshmallows; it's going to be one hell of a bonfire for us this fall.

MSNBC has a little article on these final days, revolving around Army veteran Marie Exley. This devout believer has moved from her home in Colorado to work for California-based Family Radio Worldwide and says, "... we're commanded by God to warn people. I wish I could just be like everybody else, but it's so much better to know that when the end comes, you'll be safe."

...right. It's fascinating to me to see otherwise intelligent people believing this malarky so wholeheartedly. What will they think when May 21 comes and goes? Perhaps they'll think they weren't saved and Jesus secretly raptured his holy ones as we heathens report in the news that Nothing Important Happened Today.

Allison Warden, of Raleigh, has been helping organize a campaign using billboards, postcards and other media in cities across the U.S. through a website, We Can Know. The 29-year-old payroll clerk laughs when asked about reactions to the message, which is plastered all over her car. "It's definitely against the grain, I know that," she said. "We're hoping people won't take our word for it, or Harold Camping's word for it. We're hoping that people will search the scriptures for themselves." Camping, 89, believes the Bible essentially functions as a cosmic calendar explaining exactly when various prophecies will be fulfilled.

Sorry, Allison, but people who really read the Bible usually can recognize it for the immoral, inconsistent babble that it is.

"Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment," [Camping] said.

Mhmm, sure. *yawn*

"If May 21 passes and I'm still here, that means I wasn't saved. Does that mean God's word is inaccurate or untrue? Not at all," Warden said.

Or... it could mean that it was a bunch of hokus pokus in the first place. There's an idea! How does one go about not being saved anyway? Isn't it supposed to be rather simple, ask Jesus into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior? Seems hard to get wrong.

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