Vintage Breeder Propaganda!

Riiiiiight. Cause it's always so wonderful like that! I'd love to hear the real story as told from the mother's perspective who has to cook, clean, brush the kids' hair and shuffle them to their activities. The best part is the comments:

"My cousin and her husband have 7 children! I wish to have 8!"

Destroy the earth! Never consider adoption! God wants you to have more babies!! Spawn, spawn, spawn!

"There are enormous graces and blessings bestowed upon the large Catholic family"

What blessings are these, exactly? I don't see much difference from the large Catholic family to the large Islamic family or the large Mormon family. God must have forgotten that he only blesses Catholics who squirt out a baby every 9 months.

Keep on swallowing the Kool-Aid, people.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

A recent post from the Childfreedom blog has compiled an eye-opening exposé on the realities of parenthood, Don't Worry, Be Happy.

I read every single one of them, and they are absolutely heartbreaking. They hate being a mother, hate their kids, hate their life, hate their loss of freedom because of children, and hate their ruined relationships. Most of them wanted children or were at least agreeable to it and have turned out massively unhappy. This isn't to say that it happens to every parent, but it's obvious that it is common, though a well-kept secret. There is no out for these people, and they are obligated to perpetuate their misery for many years, if not the rest of their lives. Here are a few that stand out to me:

"I love my son. I do. Unfortunately that doesnt stop me from wishing on a daily basis that I could go back and undo the last 2 years or so of my life. I hate being a mom. I loathe being a mom. I hate that i can't take a shower when I want. That i can't go out with my friends when I want. That going shopping is a mission that sucks the life right out of me. I hate that he screams about everything. I hate that he destroys everything I try to achieve. I had almost found an outlet of sorts for myself by going to the gym 5 days a week and leaving him in the kids club there. He managed to take that from me as well because he can't be civil around other children evidently. I have nothing now except for the endless days of screaming and crying while I watch my life waste away."

"I am so sick of everyone saying how precious this time is and how they grow up so fast. I feel that they can't grow up fast enough. I also have thought that other moms must be lying or fooling themselves when they say that parenthood is the best thing. I am uncomfortable talking with other parents because I am not good at lying or being fake and feel that it is obvious how much I hate being a mom. I also love my husband and long for the good old days when it was just the two of us, independent, free, and enjoying each other. Now we have such a practical/functional relationship...just getting this one fed, this diaper changed, this one to the doctor..... What were we thinking?"

"I spent my youth raising my 3 children. I have driven so many miles to soccer and basketball and football and cheerleading and plays and on and on. I volunteered at the school. I was a brownie troop leader. I read to my kids and made sure they got their shots and visits to the dentist. I took them to church and participated in their lives. They are all in their 40's. I live alone. I have not seen my kids in over 3 years. Two of them live on the opposite side of the country. My daughter has not visited me in over 10 years. If I call her I get voice mail and she may call back and she may not. My youngest got drunk and screamed at me (he's 41) and now does not speak to me. My oldest is the only one with children. He can take them to Germany and Spain and France and Chili and Disneyworld but he has not brought them to see me in 5 years. I have spent the last 15 Christmases, Thanksgivings and birthdays alone. The only time I have felt welcome at his home was when my first grandchild was born. My grandchildren are young teens and I have seen them 6 times. I am older and alone. I live on a fixed income and am not in good health and no one has my back. If I had not had children, I would have had a life and made provisions for being alone in my old age. Now, all I have to look forward to is death. And I will probably be dead days before anyone notices. Maybe if I don't show up for church two Sundays in a row someone might question."

"I don't know if having kids was the right thing to do. I love my kids and am proud of each of them. However, since I raised all 4 of them on my own...without family, friends, or any help from my ex-husband...I am the one that is LEFT ALL ALONE. I deliberately centered all of my work and activities around the kids...and wanted to be the best mom that i could be...in spite of our circumstances. I bought a house, went to work, cleaned the house and spent every night at home with my kids...cooking and doing homework with them. I rarely went out with friends, with the exception of outings with other mothers with their own brood.

Each child has grown into a well adjusted and accomplished person. However, what do I get in return? NOTHING! My daughters rarely call, my sons keep advising me to move to a warmer climate nearer my brothers...and hardly ever make time for even a 10 minute phone call to me."

"I too, wish I did not have a child. My infant daughter sucks the life out of me. Every day, I long to go back to the way my life was pre-baby. I traveled around the world, dined out in peace several times a week with my husband, and was all-around happy with my life. Now, my day consists of changing poopy diapers, washing bottles, feedings, getting throwed up on and screaming sessions. Then, this same routine just repeats, day after day. I don't travel anymore. When my husband and I go out to eat, it ends up being a nightmare and not worth the effort. I miss being able to hop in the car and see a movie with the hubby and staying out late enjoying ourselves. I am now a shell of the person I once was. I am not happy at all. I don't have any love for my daughter and I don't enjoy spending time with her AT ALL. And actually, I don't think she enjoys being with me the slightest, either. She completely annoys me, and I count down the moments until my husband gets home so I can pawn her off on him and get a break. I am lucky to have 20 minutes to myself to sit down and eat something, and relax. Some days I wish I could just adopt her out to someone who would love her, but I have too much pressure on me from family to keep her. My marriage is declining and the relationship with my husband has gotten much worse since the baby was born. I truly just despise the kid. She has ruined my happy life. If I would have known what my life would turn into after having her, I would have NEVER, EVER, EVER had children. Believe me, I will NOT have another one! I just wish I could turn back the hands of time and never had a child to begin with...."

I feel sorry for them, but at the same time there's no way they could not have had an inkling when deciding to have children that their fate would be a possibility. If you take a look around at the haggard parents, the empty wallets, the unfulfilling marriages followed by infidelity and divorce, you can imagine what raising children is like. The pro-natalists advertise only the rosy things, and gloss over the negatives with the all-encompassing phrase, "It's So Worth It."

Potential parents need to understand what their possible life could really be like, because there's no going back. But because of the skinny, beautiful moms on TV who make it look so easy, the wealthy Hollywood mothers who seem to have it all, the sentimental, billion dollar advertising industry depicting of sweet children and cooing babies, people like to stick their heads in the sand and pretend that it can't possibly happen to them.

And when it does, they're too ashamed to admit it. Thanks to the anonymity of the internet, it is starting to come out.

--BadSec

OM*G*

Just ran across this article:

10 Tricks for Moms to Avoid Sex

Thank you, thank you, thank you for demonstrating so perfectly, in ways I never could, another reason why having babies sucks.

The fact that there is a need for this kind of trickery blows my mind... those poor husbands. They've been demoted into babymaking providers. No wonder they feel like they've lost their youth. No wonder these sex-starved guys have mid-life crises and end up cheating!!

--BadSec

God loves babies

Frequently I ponder the reasons why religious people typically have so many children. Coming from an uber-traditional Catholic brainwashing, I am often so relieved to be set free from the requirement of childbearing that I just can't understand how people would choose to be so controlled--not only for making babies, but for every aspect of control that religion must have. But about religion and breeding. Fundamentalists:

1. Believe all forms of birth control to be immoral
2. Believe procreation is a duty commanded by God
3. Believe they must create souls for the furthering of God's army
4. Don't give a shit (or a very little shit) about the environment

As a feminist, it saddens me greatly to think of the women's lives that have been hurt because of being spiritually coerced into a lifestyle they did not personally choose. I was almost one of those. In general it pains me to think of people who are forced into a life that is not suitable for their personality, but have no choice because "God wills it" and so they never really question it. And in the case of having many children, who would have time to question anything? You barely have time to take a shower! This lack of time is an issue that I think plays a role in many religious people's ability to think objectively about their blind faith, but maybe that's just me being an arrogant secularist.

Can atheists and secularists win in the arena of ideas? I want to say yes, because I am a positive person and I generally believe in the general goodwill of people. Atheism and secularism have more popularity and acceptance than ever before, but as atheists and secularists we are still woefully outnumbered. Atheists have no moral opposition to birth control. We're not stupid enough to believe that an invisible God expects us to breed for him because he's just so damn cuddly he wants more of us to love. We sincerely care about the environment. And if you're childfree like me, you love your life just as it is sans offspring.

Hmm. Maybe we should start breeding like crazy and take over the world!!!

So obviously we might have a problem. Atheists tend to procreate a lot less; does this mean our ideals will not be passed on to future generations? The answer is impossible to tell, but I think there is hope. As our knowledge of the world and culture and the variety of religions and lifestyles increases, as small-minded human beings we have no choice but to accept that there are Other Ways of Living Than Our Own. With acceptance can come understanding; with understanding can come conversion, and I think a good bit of that has happened. The exposure from TV, internet and radio all over the world has--for good or bad--been an eye-opening experience. Humans are naturally curious and what better to spark curiosity than cultural diversity? I think it's ample reason for people to examine their own way of life and to consider others' way. Maybe my religion isn't so right... maybe theirs isn't so wrong... or wait, maybe religion itself is the problem?

Back when the world was a lot more mysterious and small, religion served a purpose as an explanation for very many things. But that was when the Earth was flat, men or horses were gods, and abiogenesis was an accepted theory. As our knowledge increases, our reliance on the mythical decreases. There's a saying among Christians that "a baby is God's way of saying the world should go on." I happen to think it's more like "a baby is biology's way of saying you successfully put your penis in a vagina and ejaculated."

There's a short but good article on this topic at More Intelligent Life called Faith Equals Fertility. Some of the comments are enough to raise my blood pressure, like Tito Edwards:

People of faith are more open to having children because they love God. God is life, so what better way to celebrate life than to have children. Hence the Culture of Life. Secularists, atheists, non-theists, tend to not believe in something more than themselves, so they think ONLY of themselves. High rates of narcissism are rampant amongst non-believers so hence you have higher rates of abortions. Abortions are more prevalent since non-believers are pretty selfish and since they don't believe life beyond their material existense they want evertying now. Sex without responsbility is probably the number one narcisistic value amongst non-believers. Why have children sucking away your money, when that money can be better spent on vacations, a second home, third car, misstress, etc. It's rather quite simple. But as St. Thomas Aquinas said, "those with faith, no explanation is necessary. Those without faith, no explanation is possible."


In Jesus, Mary, & Joseph,


Tito

Oh, Tito. How I used to be brainwashed just like you. You're a typical Catholic idiot, but you've made some interesting points.

People of faith are more open to having children because they love God. God is life, so what better way to celebrate life than to have children. Hence the Culture of Life.

Pardon me while I facepalm for a moment. Ok, now that that's out of the way--do you have proof of God? Didn't think so. You have only a man-made religion full of rules and regulations that say you must behave in a certain way or the all-loving God will send you to hell for not obeying him. Gosh, he sounds so sweet! But that kind of belief is an excellent way of keeping the peons under control, isn't it? What you meant to say is that your religion dictates that you must have children, that birth control is evil, but they sugarcoat this rule by making you feel superior to others because you are "open to life." Did it ever occur to you that banning birth control will effectively increase the Catholic Church's membership on purpose, thereby increasing its profits and control over people's lives? Kind of like how our government and Hollywood glamorizes joining the military.

Secularists, atheists, non-theists, tend to not believe in something more than themselves, so they think ONLY of themselves. High rates of narcissism are rampant amongst non-believers so hence you have higher rates of abortions. Abortions are more prevalent since non-believers are pretty selfish and since they don't believe life beyond their material existense they want evertying now. Sex without responsbility is probably the number one narcisistic value amongst non-believers.

Sorry, I must have forgotten the part where we met. You seem to think you know everything about me. For the record, retard, abortion is not always done for selfish reasons. And what's so wrong about sex without responsibility? Why is procreation a requirement? You would have sex "without responsibility" too if you could. But your religion has convinced you that you can't, so you tell yourself that you're better for being so responsible. Pompous much?

Why have children sucking away your money, when that money can be better spent on vacations, a second home, third car, misstress, etc.

That's the most sense you've made! Though not a complete list, those are definitely some attractive reasons for not having kids. Except the mistresses part; I've no need for those.

But as St. Thomas Aquinas said, "those with faith, no explanation is necessary. Those without faith, no explanation is possible."

Right on, right on, brother! You Christians love your blind faith. No explanation is necessary to those with faith because they are so certain they have all the answers; "God" gave them to the answers--or maybe it's just a bunch of people with a magical story.

I need to go relax now and get my blood pressure back down. Maybe I should do some offensive New Age Yoga.

--BadSec